A belch

I had a patient today who came in with classic symptoms of a bleeding stomach ulcer. He had a scoping procedure done, and they found a large ulcer that is concerning for cancer. The biopsy results aren't back yet, but when I told him what were worried about, he replied, "well, I always wanted to go out with a bang, but I guess going out with a belch isn't so bad either."

I was glad he had a sense of humor about it, but I think I'll be even more glad if we find out that his ulcer is not malignant.

Oranges

Two funny stories about oranges:

1) I had a patient who had end-stage renal disease who we started on dialysis. He was getting dialyzed every day, but his potassium continued to be high. I found this strange until I walked into his room one morning and found him chowing down on a bunch of oranges his family had brought him. There were peels from probably ten oranges on his bed. (For those who don't know, oranges are loaded with potassium). We were trying to restrict potassium in his diet, but his family was bringing him a bag of oranges on a daily basis. Never underestimate the power of the orange.

2) A friend of mine has a patient with diabetes who was started on insulin. When the patient came back to clinic, she still had outrageously high blood sugars. When asked how the patient was taking her insulin, she said, "I do it just like they showed me in the diabetic class." It needs mentioning here that in the diabetic education class, they show patients how to use insulin by allowing them to practice with needles injecting into oranges so they can get a feel for the syringes and needles. Well, it turns out that this patient was injecting her insulin into an orange and then eating the orange. Too bad it doesn't work that way.